::polo::

while my mom and whit were visiting, we had the opportunity to go to a polo match at a local vineyard.

i had never been to a polo match before, and it was amazing.

the backdrop was picturesque and the company was wonderful.  lily and finn loved every minute of it and we definitely plan to go back again soon.  we heard finn say all afternoon "people on horses' backs!" and lily stated that she wanted to "stay there forever."  (that was about 20 minutes prior to her saying she was "roasting" and "dripping" and needed to get in the car.) 

we will definitely enjoy another match again soon!

::room air::

over the weekend, crosby pulled his nasal cannula off in the night.  i awoke to find his oxygen saturation in the high 90's and the oxygen blowing on his eyes.  

we decided we'd try to see if he could continue on room air. 

 for the first few nervous hours, we kept the cannula on his face, but turned off.  but as the day persisted, i got antsy to see his face completely free from accessories.  he made it almost a whole day without needing supplemental oxygen!  he became a bit worn out by the end of the day and is now back on his oxygen, but we know we are getting close now!  hooray!!

memorial day in c'ville brought a heatwave.

we have some great city pools and we decided it was time to take our first trip today.  unfortunately, the pools were at capacity due to the heat and we had to head back home defeated.

thankfully, our kids were thrilled by the sprinkler and they spent a long time running through it.

we have a small hole in our front yard that has taunted both lily and finn since they learned to walk.  they both notoriously choose the route through the front yard that takes them over the hole.

as the sprinkler ran, the hole filled with water.  lily and finn thought it was awesome and finn thought it was more than just muddy water...



you can hear him saying "special drink...special drink right here" a few times...he was convinced he had created chocolate milk in his own backyard!

::visitors::

as the fog is lifting from our last several months, i feel i can finally see the forest for the trees.

we have had so many wonderful visitors who have come to support and help us, but i have neglected to catch much of it on film.

this past weekend, duke, whit and my mom all came to visit and i was determined not to let another visit go by unrecorded.  it was wonderful for each of them to hold crosby for the first time.  it made my heart swell...

and of course, lily and finn got lots of love, too.

we already miss you guys!  thank you SO much for coming!

::growing::

5 1/2 pounds!!

::learning to ride::

lily has been really excited for a "pedal bike" and today we decided it was time to go for it.

somehow we were able to convince her that a blue bike that says "major damage" was better than the pink princess bike with attached baby carriage. (she has two brothers to follow...can you blame us?  we did get a sweet pink basket for the front, though!)

so, that means finn has graduated to the balance bike and he could not be more thrilled!

we got a pair of goggles for finn because we knew he would be quite sad if only lily had a pair this summer.  he put them on as soon as we left the store, through dinner and putting on jammies.  they were completely fogged up, but he still insisted.  he wore them right until he got in bed.  he's ready for the pool...

happy.

happy it is friday.
happy to have my three littles under one roof.
happy crosby is gaining weight.
happy ryan has a WEEK off! (he had taken a week two weeks before my supposed "due date" to relax and get ready for the baby...little did we know!)
just happy.

 it is still hard for me to believe he could have had over 2 weeks to stay nestled inside...i am so glad we already have him here!

two and a half months old and FIVE pounds!

being home is so good.

sibling love.

home.

i guess i didn't realize how fragmented my heart felt until we walked in the door with our three kids and i felt the breaks start to immediately mend themselves.

i feel like a thousand pounds have been lifted off of my shoulders and the constant anxiety has left my heart.

i feel like the tears that i have been holding back are finally not so near.  

i feel whole again.

praise be to God.

we brought crosby home today and i am so abundantly thankful.  he is still tiny, still needs oxygen and monitoring and still has some issues eating.  but, i am so thankful we can work on these things at home.  to be able to sit here typing with him in my lap and not in his crib at the hospital feels like heaven.  i know the next few weeks will be crazy, but it will be a crazy that i relish in comparison to our past 10 weeks.  

i am so thankful...

 lily's wonderful friend, ainsley, made a sign for our front door.

 crosby with his paraphernalia.

 getting to touch crosby for the first time.

feeding him his vitamins.  crosby actually has two moms when lily is around.  she is adorable with him.

oh home, sweet home!

Tomorrow......Crosby's Coming Home!

In honor of Crosby's homecoming, we wanted to raise money for the March of Dimes foundation who supports premature babies around the world! We have felt so blessed by the care he has received and all of the love, support and prayers from family and friends. We wanted to give back for all the other children in NICU's around the country whose families are undergoing the same struggles that we have over the last weeks.

We are going to run the Tough Mudder Virginia Run and wanted to do this in support of the March of Dimes. The March of Dimes is a global leader in the care and research of premature babies and those born with birth defects. The race itself will be challenging as neither of us have done a trail race with obstacles.  It is a 10-12 mile obstacle course designed by the British Special Forces to test all around strength, stamina, grit and camaraderie.  Crosby has certainly been an amazing example of strength and stamina to us in his short life and we hope to honor him in this race.  It takes place at Wintergreen Ski Resort just outside of Charlottesville. Thankfully the race isn't until October so we have some time to train. If you're curious you can check out the race at www.toughmudder.com/.

We set up a website at www.firstgiving.com. Donating through this website is simple, fast and totally secure. It is also the most efficient way to support our fundraising efforts. Even if you can only contribute your prayers for Crosby and our family that would be more than enough. We love you all. The link is below

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/ryanpsmith/greateasternendurancerunhalfmarathon


Just a reminder of how far he's come...









We love you Crosby!

::last visit::

don't let crosby's expression fool you...if all goes well tonight, he will be discharged tomorrow morning!

as i was walking into the hospital this evening, i felt my eyes brimming with tears.  tears that contain so many emotions.  mostly gratitude for the amazing care the NICU has provided him for the last 2 1/2 months and gratitude for the amazing blessing that he is.  

i am SO abundantly thankful to have just had my last visit and my last walk to my car without my son.  i can hardly wait for tomorrow morning...

forward progress...

yesterday, crosby had his "car seat trail."  he had to prove that he could maintain his oxygen saturation for two hours in his car seat. 

he looked like such a little peanut in there.  he passed the trial and although he barely fits in the seat (all 4 lbs 11 oz of him!) we are thrilled that we can use it to bring him home!

then we had the pleasure of spending the night with him last night.

the NICU has two great suites set up for parents to room in prior to discharge.

although it was truly a sleepless night, it makes me feel better about bringing him home on oxygen and monitors.  it was wonderful to finally spend a night with our littlest!

we are so close!

closer...

today, crosby's nurse let me take his NG tube out.

it was wonderful.  

look at his sweet face...it is almost free of any extra paraphernalia.  

if he can eat all of his meals over the next 48 hours and gain weight, they are planning to discharge him on saturday!

hallelujah!!!!

today.

yaay!!

we are getting so close to crosby coming home!!

he may be discharged as early as this friday and at the latest, it should be the end of next week!  hallelujah!

he completed his trial off of caffeine with no apnea or bradycardia.  now he just needs to try to get off of oxygen and learn how to eat all his meals on his own.  

we are so close!!!!

crosby's repeat head ultrasound, hearing screen and eye exam were all normal!

praise be to God!!!

::reflection::

::firsts::

we grilled out this weekend and realized that finn had never had corn on the cob.  

he was not so sure at first, but decided he loved it.

and how is it possible that lily is 4 1/2 and has never had an ice cream cone?  

we decided that a warm spring night was the perfect time to introduce them...