Tuesday, August 30, 2011


crosby slept through the night last night. 

it was A.MAZ.ING.  amazing.  truly.

new year's eve was when my contractions started.  and since then, i have had two uninterrupted nights of sleep.  every other night has been filled with contractions, or bleeding, or pumping or feeding a sweet babe.

and i really don't say that to complain.  it has been a journey.  and the end results are a deliciously plump and healthy baby. 

but i mention all of that to say that our night's sleep last night was out of this world.  

i do not think i moved an inch from 10:30 last night when we tucked crosby in until 6 am this morning.  i was literally in the exact same position.  and it was wonderful.

i know it might be a little bit until he is consistently sleeping through the night, but the promise of it looms ever so close on the horizon.

good job, little warrior!!!

Monday, August 29, 2011

::brotherly love::

finn has a lot of love for crosby.

sometimes so much that it makes me nervous.

i often worry that i am risking crosby's life when the two of them are left alone together.  so far, he has only been gentle to him...but gentle in the eyes of a two year old is occasionally different than how i view gentleness!

now that crosby is more interactive, it is even more fun for lily and finn.
this morning, finn just couldn't get enough of him...

(music purely coincidental...i guess we were rockin' this morning.  but, i couldn't have put it better!)

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


 so much love here.

and it is not just for the ice cream.


he makes my heart so very happy.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


shot at very close range.  my apologies...

Sunday, August 21, 2011

::how i love c'ville::

dave matthews was here last night.

he was playing at an outdoor pavilion that is really small in terms of his typical venue.

and tickets sold out in the first 30 seconds.  we were not so quick as to score tickets in those 30 seconds.

we decided the opportunity was too good to pass up and so we got delicious vegetarian sandwiches, had a picnic near the pavilion and decided to camp out to see if we could catch part of his show.

he was playing with tim reynolds and the concert was for charity.  we didn't think there was any chance we would be able to get close.

but we did...

the venue was a 2 minute drive from our house.  and we were able to be within a block.  and it sounded like we were right under the pavilion. and we didn't pay a dime.   it was amazing.  the kids loved it and had a blast dancing around downtown.  even crosby loved his first concert.

we have payed for it today with some tired kids, but it was well worth it.

a lot of love for c'ville!

the video quality is terrible and our kids were exhausted by this point.  but you will get the picture. :)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

crosby's smiles have been elusive the past few weeks.  you could always catch a few in the morning, but the rest of the day, they were hard to come by.

his smiles and coos are much easier to come by this week.  i am loving his sweet baby noises and his emerging personality.  

he is such a gift...

::a peep::

lily and finn are best buds right now.  

they certainly have their skirmishes and they can definitely try to antagonize one another.  but, overall, they both really want to be with the other.  

we have been working really hard on speaking respectfully around these parts and lily had a stretch of several days where she did an excellent job.  we told her that if she continued to speak kindly for the rest of the day last friday, she and finn could have a "sleepover."  

they previously had a sleepover in july and lily has been longing for another.  while they kids considered the sleepover a success, they talked for hours and were exhausted the next day.  but lily loved it so much that she has asked often for another  and we felt like it would be a great treat for good behavior.

she was on her best behavior the remainder of the day and they were both SO excited for the upcoming evening.  lily told me she didn't even want to read books, but just be tucked right in.  

we snuggled finn into his crib and lily was on an awesome biber-style pallet (think lots of blankets and pillows), told them not to talk for too long and said "good night."  as we were headed out the door, lily said, "mama, do you know how many peeps you will hear from me?"  and i said, "how many, lily?"  and she said, "no peeps!"

the moment we walked out, we heard finn say, "hi lily!"  with almost so much excitement it was palpable.

we let them chat for about an hour and then snuck in to tell them it was time to settle down.  

about 30 minutes later, we heard them both chanting, "no more monkeys jumping on the bed."  finn's crib was squeaking with every jump and you could hear lily's feet slamming onto the ground.

we let that continue for a bit and then told them it truly was time to settle down.  

well, by 10 o'clock, the awesome sleepover had to be ended.  tears followed and i felt like the worst parent to separate my kids who were just loving their secret time together.  (but, we decided it was a good idea as they were both exhausted the next day!)

all that to be said, it made my heart so happy to hear them excitedly whispering (and screaming) in joy together as the hours drew on.  and, we definitely heard more than "a peep" out of them!

and as a total sidenote, lily is definitely very sensitive and takes note of all emotions.  whether it is the bagger at the grocery store ("mama, whey did that man have on his grouchy face?" - as we are still in earshot), to telling us which cars have "happy faces," which have "sad faces" and the worst of all, which cars have "crying faces." (who knew??), to wanting to discuss the sadness in stories or phone calls. she definitely is perceptive beyond my wildest imagination. 

anyway, she has a lovie we so endearingly refer to as, "lambie."  well, she actually has three of them (just in case, you know?)  when she was little, she thought only one existed, but she is too wise now for our antics.

to ryan and me, all three look identical.  we have been careful to rotate them often and let them all receive the same amount of loving.  but not to lily...

as i was tucking her in the other day, she said, "mama, do you know who i am really missing?" (i was thinking she would mention a grandparent or aunt or uncle).

"who lily?" i said.

"smiling lambie." 
hmm...  i had no idea one lambie was preferred over another.  i went to her drawer to pull out the other two lambies, and of course, one lambie has the slightest upturn of it's stitching by it's mouth.  "smiling lambie."

thankfully, lily told me as i was walking out, "i love staring lambie, too, though."  thank goodness!

how i cherish the things that come out of their mouths!

note that finn's mouth is full in every picture!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

::sweet ones:;

lily and finn have been imitating their mama a lot recently...

apparently i can be found laying down and patting crosby's back quite often recently!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

happy anniversary!

8 beautiful years have passed since ryan and i said, "i do."

they have been the most wonderful and rich years of my life.

although this year has held challenges greater than any we had yet faced, it made my love for him grow so much stronger and deeper.  watching you, ryan, as we faced such uncertainty and hardship, gave me so much strength.  you were a pillar of hope and faith for us during my struggles and crosby's hospital stay and i will never be able to say "thank you" enough for all you did for me during those months.

i love you more than words could express.

thank you for choosing me.

happy anniversary!!

Monday, August 8, 2011


we had the pleasure of helping to celebrate our friend, david's, 4th birthday last weekend.

my kids were thrilled as the local fire department arrived at the party.

the firefighters were so gracious and kind to the kids and we all learned a ton.
they let the kids climb up inside and even spray the hose.  it was awesome!

happy 4th birthday, david!  thank you for letting us celebrate with you!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

::5 months old::

crosby is 5 months old!

it is hard to believe our little warrior is so big!

as crosby passes the 5 month mark, it means that his days at home will now exceed his days spent in the NICU.

and that feels like a huge step forward.

he will have spent more days at home in the care of his family who adores him than in the hospital under the care of physicians and nurses.

and while we are forever grateful for his care at the hospital, it is oh so good to have him home.

praise be to God.

Thursday, August 4, 2011


i have been struck in the last few weeks by just how big lily is.

although i certainly don't think of her as my baby, i still think of her as "little."

but then she says things, or helps finn, or seems so tall, or speaks with such compassion and i am floored by how old and big she is.  (and of course then she throws a fit and she feels little again!) :)

it is so bittersweet.  i want to savor every minute of my kids being little.  but, then i watch her right now and i am so excited for the years to come and the memories we are making.

 i realized recently that she is now at the age that i start to have solid memories of my youth.  and they are such fun, magical, free and creative memories and it makes me so happy for her.  watching her pretend to be a dolphin in the pool transports me right back to my days spent at azionaqua.  or hearing her talk about the fairies living in the house she and finn built in the basement makes my heart long for those days of make believe.  and the thousands of questions she asks all day long makes me love how much she yearns for knowledge right now.

my baby is so big.
and yet so little.
and i am savoring it so much...

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

we have have just been enjoying the hot days of summer around these parts.

we have been spending a lot of time poolside.
today finn discovered the wonder of seeing underwater with goggles.  oh the joy!  
and crosby went for his first swim yesterday...he loved it so much that he promptly fell asleep in the warm water.

and crosby is working diligently to get a thumb (or even just a finger) to stay in his mouth for more than a second...